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CLICK HERE to Enter the Current Photo Caption Contest
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Previous Caption Contest Winners: Have a heartIf it's just floating there, why do I need the gloves?- Zahevan Hijinks in the Operating Room. 'Let's play Hot Potato!' - Hodink Here honey, my heart is in your hands. - Chortle You make my heart flutter. - tj Like they say Ginger, 'See one, do one.' Your turn now to do the heart transplant. - Rachel Edith Who's the heartless one now Wendy? - The Dissident Not content with ripping out Dark Lord Sauron's heart, Frodo plays a wacky game of 'levitate this' with his hairy footed friends. - Rib Tickler Medical students discover that eating too many 'lite' foods causes a new form of heart disease: weightlessness. - ScazzMan Brain surgery gone terribly wrong. - HB182gurl I can toss it. It's a no brainer. - yeahhh QUESTION: If an entire brain levitates with no mind left intact to behold it, does it still make a tinkly, magic wand sound? - mister head You put your left lung in ... - KDANTEATER Niles 'Butter Fingers' Johnson, pictured here, ends the practice of hiring high school juniors to shore up the nursing shortage. - dbeck01 10 minutes earlier, Bart Simpson said 'Eat me' for the last, fatal time. - Rib Tickler This is, like, so cool. - Slurple And then Professor Spakel exploded. Organs flew everywhere! - Crazepot The Tin Man in high school. - Sleezer So THIS is what they put in Burger King hamburger patties! - Dr. Smith Be free, enormous zit! - Be Natural Med-school students meet the Fox network. - Nobrainer It's the Dick Cheney doll! - Crumbly Principal Campbell was dead, and Eric knew that he had taken his magic act too far. - Edgy Where's the rest of Ted Williams? - Sneezepot Hey, this isn't a slinky! - Hyper Nice watch. - Stupid  Spastic bowel syndromeGo from A to B in 40 years.- Hodink Unfortunately, that was me when I was younger. - cLiFf I drank that Cola like the ad said I should, but it aged me 40 years. - Blurb Before and after constipation. - Matthew Do ya ever get the feeling someone is watching you? - Zahevan Defending his position on 'Right to Vice,' Dr. Leaderneck shows a photo of a patient in the Round Head Correction Machine. - Duzitalot It's really TRUE!! He IS ViagraMAAAAAAAAAN!!! - samiris Mr. Ed with Viagra. Mr. Ed without it. - funnigal Gosh darn it, I could've sworn there was a distorted face mocking me somewhere in the general vicinity... - l.e. Doctor, I hear voices. One laughs incessantly like a hyena. The other keeps saying, 'Now Edith!' and 'Meatball!' - Chortle Are you off your nut? Get lost you whispering weirdo. - Bouhaki I'm telling you. Eat limburger cheese with broccoli. - Bouhaki I've heard about new added security in the public restrooms, but can't a guy take a dump in peace, for Christ's sake. - BODYBAG Another happy customer of Dr. Ben Dover's Discount Proctology Center. - Glenn 'Beautification' of Israeli security fence fails to mollify Palestinians. - repeatoffender Pops knew drugs were bad but he'd always wanted to find out why. - The Rib Tickler Scene from the new movie 'Honey, I shrunk the Old Geezer.' - Duzitalot See 'The Voice' at a theatre near you. Jim Carrey at his best. Anthony Hopkins at his worst. - Rachel Edith Struggling to come to terms with a particularly bad bout of 'spastic bowel syndrome,' Grandpa had to turn away from watching 'The Shining' on the family's new big screen TV. - LtOwl Here's Moishe! - piggy  Dogs' idea of doggy styleTo the hydrant!- I am as weird as a bagel Are we there yet? - penny_mer10 Niagara Falls is this way! - KDANTEATER Dogs' idea of doggie style. - Hodink Swell everybody! We're on a roll. - Lasting Magic Why do they always have to play hard to get? - lu103030 The one in the middle seems to be enjoying himself. - LtOwl Canine bachelors TV show begins with five contestants. - Rachel Edith Stop rolling it, Spot! I think the bitch is finally coming out! - Duzitalot Get inside, honey. You're an old dog and this is a new trick. - Bouhaki Maybe next time I'll get to be in the tube and not have Al's dick in my ass again. - Poopy Contenders for the Democrat presidential nomination practice on each other before being let loose on the American people. - Sandy 'Rollin,' rollin,' rollin,' though the streams are swollen, keep them doggies rolling, Rawhide. - WoodyHaynes The sled dogs figured out a way to get Artie home after someone put Schnapps in his bowl. - jajuka Struggling economy forces NFL to downscale this year's Super Bowl halftime extravaganza. - repeatoffender Peeping puppies line up to watch Fluffy in heat. - Old Comedywriter Pooch porn. - Rib tickler  Pimplona?Ok, good. Now turn him backward to show his good side.- Rachel Edith VH1's 'Where Are They Now: Harry Potter?' - Tricia It feels ripe, but it has a bruise on it. - alk While a few good thumps may do, a good squeeze is still the best melon test. - kmac1959 Kind of soft and smells sweet, just how I like my melons. - Dr. Lector Always squeeze fruit to see if it is ripe! - BooBoo83 Mr. Richard 'Dick' Head, giddy at having escaped serious injury from a bullet fired by a Christian Coalition member's 9mm, is cleared to rejoin Portland, Oregon's Gay Pride Parade. - piggy Give me the answers I want, or I'll use the Vulcan Mind Meld on you! - PunkishGrrl After years of searching, Thing still hasn't realized that Uncle Fester is dead, and keeps on looking for him. - Sammy An out of work 'Thing' makes a living giving head to New York tourists. We're pleased to see him practicing safe sex, but it looks like the wrist watch leaves some wicked contact burns. - ferrairphreak No, really this is the dead body of Uday. - Anon Down and out, John grins with glee after trading his eyebrow ring for a Big Mac and fries. - Hitman I guess Mr. Clean isn't so clean. - Fulan Alas, poor Yorick ... I'd recognize him anywhere. - sunbelt Phrenologist identifies Jack the Ripper. - leftnotracks One of the first things you learn as a proctologist is never to scratch your head during an exam ... - LtOwl Being third in line for the blind proctologist was no picnic! - Monnster You should see where the other hand is. - njsykora Good thing the other gloved hand is well 'oiled'. - NakedSpiderMonkey Can I borrow some Vaseline? - edo Unknown participant in the Rectal Exam Day of Pride Parade. - NakedSpiderMonkey You're not supposed to look into my eyes when I ask you to cough. - danimal Steve's new show, 'Sex: Where Babies Come From,' was an immediate hit and featured the likes of his sidekick Five-Condom-Freddy. - wepeel Oh come on darling, stop being a drama queen, it's just a zit. - +knight Templar+ The award for World's Largest Zit goes to Eugene Belvin! - chkameja 'So, do I qualify?' A hopeful Woody Harrelson on a recent visit to Canada, after hearing of Canada's new medical marijuana laws. - amooya The first victim of 'The Beating of the Dumasses That Ran with the Bulls' gets stitched up by the starving Dr. Brainsucker. - Devilhorn Whilst receiving medical attention for a cut on the head at the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, Peter unexpectedly received a horn up the ass from a wayward bull. - papseye Years from now, Rudolfo would explain to his grandchildren that the goring he took up the ass from the Pamplona bulls went deeper than he thought possible. - candypopper 
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The Web's Wittiest News Satire 
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