BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. OCTOBER 20, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Bill O'Reilly, Accused of Sexual Harassment, Says "So What?"

Bill O Reilly

NEW YORK — Bill O'Reilly has been accused sexual harassment in a lawsuit filing by Andrea Mackris, a Fox News' producer. Her court filing says he subjected her to repeated harassment and spoke to her about phone sex, vibrators, threesomes, masturbation, the loss of his virginity and sexual fantasies.

This caused an outburst from shock jock Howard Stern, who complained bitterly on his radio show, "O'Reilly is stealing my material!"

The court filing also alleges that O'Reilly revealed he had numerous extramarital affairs and that he told Mackris that Fox News' boss, Roger Ailes, George Bush and Dick Cheney were working to "get" Al Franken.

Al Franken was ecstatic with these revelations and spoke out on his radio show on Air America, saying, "There's nothing more pleasing to a conspiracy theorist like myself than having an actual conspiracy revealed. This proves everything I've ever said about O'Reilly is true, except for the stuff in my last book." Franken is also planning a new book in his continuing vendetta against O'Reilly, to be called Sexual Harassers and the Sexual Harassments They Do; A Filthy and Biased Look at the Right.

Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas, joined the fray. "I shouldn't be commenting on this matter because it may come before me on appeal but, if these allegations turn out to be true, O'Reilly really said some great stuff! I thought I was a good harasser, but O'Reilly is even better! Talking about vibrators is always good, and gets the girls warmed up! But I think he could have improved on his repartee with some references to soda cans."

The filing said that O'Reilly talked about his wife using a vibrator. This has led Vibramax, a manufacturer of vibrators, to seek an endorsement from O'Reilly's wife. It wants to run an ad saying, "When your husband is a blow-hard and too tired to do his job, turn on by turning on your Vibramax!"

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