BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. DECEMBER 22, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Kofi Annan and Son to Work at Starbucks
Serving Coffee at Starbucks... Full story

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'How to Make Love Like a Police Commissioner' from ReganBooks

kerik book

NEW YORK — Potty-mouthed publisher, Judith Regan, is following up two of her recent publishing successes - How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson, and the biography of former New York Police Commissioner, Bernard Kerik - with a new book combining the two themes.

Her imprint, ReganBooks, is releasing How to Make Love Like a Police Commissioner by Bernie "Burnout" Kerik. The timing of the release capitalizes on the publicity surrounding the withdrawal of Kerik's nomination as US Homeland Security czar.

The new book has details of Kerik's alleged simultaneous affairs with Regan and another woman while Kerik was married to a third woman. For her part, Regan denies that she and Kerik had an affair.

"But it's in the book you're publishing," said one reporter. "You deny it but it's in the book!"

"Just write about it and get people to buy the book," replied Regan.

Meanwhile, talking heads are beginning to think it was a mistake for the White House to dump Kerik so quickly when skeletons in his closet began to emerge.

"What we need in Homeland Security at this time is a bit of testosterone," said one commentator. "We had a guy who couldn't decide between yellow and orange. Kerik was a red meat guy. He would have been tough. His connections with organized crime would have been an advantage too. Nobody messes with the mob."

Book cover by Mike Pasternack

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