BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JANUARY 3, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Saddam Will Be Remembered for Being Hung and Well Hung

saddam un

BAGHDAD — Saddam Hussein is remembered by the world as a brutal killer of his own people, a clever kidder about WMD, and an incredible lover by his former wife and women friends.

Born in an obscure village, he become a young radical, joined the Baath Party and became its chief torturer, conducted Stalin-like purges within the party to become its head, and seized control of Iraq. While slaughtering opponents and rivals alike, he became a friend of the West for a while but, after gassing his own citizens and invading Kuwait for its oil, he became the scourge of the West. In other words, he was a classic bad boy and thus was very attractive to women.

Saddam ruled over sizable ethnic minorities, and wielded a prodigious weapon of his own. His chemical and biological weapons intimidated his opponents, while the bulge in his briefs thrilled Iraqi women.

"His bulk was mainly in the testicular area," said his former wife. "His column was known to topple."

But Saddam's story has much more to it than pure terror. Yes, there were days of mass torture and sheer terror, but there were also nights of pure pleasure.

Saddam took control of the Baath Party not only as means of gaining political power but also because he liked the name, and late at night he took more than one Iraqi lady into his Baath for some soap suds action.

Some puzzled at how a man who created so much hatred, torturing children to extract confessions form their parents, could be such a sex symbol. The answer is to be found in not only his underpants but also in his knowledge of women and what women want. He was a good listener, attentive, and generous with presents.

Human Rights Watch has condemned the hanging of Saddam as being cruel and unusual punishment, and has said his trial was flawed. However, Jawad Abdul-Aziz, who lost his father, three brothers and 22 cousins in the reprisal killings that followed a 1982 assassination attempt against Saddam in the Shiite town of Dujail, said he respectfully disagreed, or words to that effect.

Emma Dubin

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