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www.bongonews.com FEBRUARY 28, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
   
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Hillary Has Her Penis Removed to Emphasize Her Femininity
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Iran Refuses to Stop File Sharing, U.S. Will Invade
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Al Gore Livid at Oscar Night Recount


gore

LOS ANGELES — In a rare imposition of an electoral college vote, Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth Academy Awards "victory" for best documentary was downplayed to a "nice try" by judges who instead awarded the Best Documentary to George Bush for his political film, Mounting Mr. Cheney.

The 2000 Popular Vote President was livid about the revised tally after he was declared the winner by most news services. His overheated reaction had a downside however as the planet's temperature elevated slightly, causing a flock of penguins, already Oscar night partying to Nellie's "It's Getting Hot in Here," to drop dead of heat stroke.

"Me gusta Senor Cheney sin ropa" (I like Mr. Cheney without clothes) was the cry from the late-reporting state of Florida, where Academy Awards Cuban-American judges allowed few African-American voters to influence them.

"We no believe in global warming. We love Ricardo's global warring and when Senor George takes that piggyback ride on Ricardo in el movie," added Katrina Harista, Director of the Florida Academy Awards contingent.

Gore, for his part, again acted with equanimity, seeking "to calm the country during this time of strife and climate chaos."

The World Leader in Carbon Dioxide Loathing said, "My temperature is rising in anger, but Tipper iced me down by tossing me into a snowdrift in the latest Northeast storm. I am now penning my concession speech. Though I despise its non-environmental message, I acknowledge defeat to Mounting Mr. Cheney."

Upon hearing the Gore announcement, the Bush Administration celebrated by nuking Iran while kidnapping Ahmadinejad so he can star in their new documentary An Inconvenient Idiot.

Van Gross, MD
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