BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. APRIL 4, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Syrian Leader Offers Pelosi Explosives


DAMASCUS, Syria — The House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, has openly contradicted Bush Administration Middle East policy by meeting with the leader of the rogue state Syria, a principal sponsor of terrorism in Palestine, Lebanon and Iraq.

The U.S. and Western countries have been refusing to meet with the Syrian leader because of his financing of terror and his role in assassinations. Pelosi, who has no authority when it comes to foreign policy matters, has broken that boycott.

"The road to Damascus is a road to peace," said Pelosi in Syria. She then joined Syrian President Assad in calling for withdrawal of U.S. troops from the region.

"The Syrians are prepared to take over the region for us," she said. "They assured me that they will look after Israel, Iraq and Saudi Arabia for us."

For his part, Assad offered Pelosi Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs).

"You could put IEDs on the road that Bush's motorcade takes," he said. "Then you could set them off with a cellphone. Pow!"

In response to criticism about her meeting with Assad, Pelosi said she gave him a stern message about sponsoring terrorism. "I said to him, "I think you work things out by talking with people, and not just kill them,' and he replied, "You have great legs. Would you like me to do you?'

In further trying to justify her meeting, Pelosi said she also brought a message to Assad from the Israeli Prime Minister that Israel was ready for peace talks with Syria. However, an Israeli government official later said that she forgot the second part of the message, and that was that Syria must first stop financing terror and assassinations.

"He's ready to engage in negotiations for peace with Israel," Pelosi said of the Syrian leader. "He showed me his plans for the Golan Heights!"

Emma Dubin

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