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Al Gore: "I'm Carbon Neutral Because I Sh*t All the Carbon I Eat'
LOS ANGELES "Burgers, pizza and Slurpees contain a lot of carbon," said global warming idiot, Al Gore. "I eat a lot of that carbon and I sh*t a lot of that carbon.
"To make up for the carbon converted by my body to energy and thus not present in my stool, I pay offset credits to some people in Latin America and China to sh*t some more on my behalf. That makes me feel good.
"But there's an additional thing I do to live a neutral life. Did you know that methane gas is more of a problem than carbon dioxide gas, and has 16 times the bad effect on global warming per ton of gas? I didn't! And do you know where most of the methane comes from? From farting by cows, sheep and me! Now methane is a very combustible gas. So, to be methane neutral, I light a match and flare the methane from my copious farts " it's always a popular trick at parties!"