BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. MAY 16, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Evangelicals and Neocons Were on Noah's Ark, But Were Eaten by Dinosaurs
... Full story

Sharpton Defends His Religious Slur Against Romney: "˜He Mormon Trash'
... Full story

Democrats Are Worried that Romney Looks and Sounds Very Good
... Full story

Meterosexual Presidential Hopeful, John Edwards, Caught Primping His Hair
... Full story

Pope Blames Everybody for Everything
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Mullah Dadullah's Last Hula
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Virgins Wait for Zarqawi
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Bush Just Says No to Tables and Benches
... Full story

Good Signs - Wife Hits Out at Husband's Girlfriend
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Hugo Ballz: Ice-Z and Pimping
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

Al Gore: "˜I'm Carbon Neutral Because I Sh*t All the Carbon I Eat'


LOS ANGELES — "Burgers, pizza and Slurpees contain a lot of carbon," said global warming idiot, Al Gore. "I eat a lot of that carbon and I sh*t a lot of that carbon.

"To make up for the carbon converted by my body to energy and thus not present in my stool, I pay offset credits to some people in Latin America and China to sh*t some more on my behalf. That makes me feel good.

"But there's an additional thing I do to live a neutral life. Did you know that methane gas is more of a problem than carbon dioxide gas, and has 16 times the bad effect on global warming per ton of gas? I didn't! And do you know where most of the methane comes from? From farting by cows, sheep and me! Now methane is a very combustible gas. So, to be methane neutral, I light a match and flare the methane from my copious farts "“ it's always a popular trick at parties!"

Emma Dubin

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