BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes.
www.bongonews.com JANUARY 7, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
   
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Dean is Endorsed by Bill Bradley and the Imperial High Council of Mars
... Full story

Princess Diana Was Pregnant When She Died ... And Strom Thurmond Was the Father!
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Jesus to Join Howard Dean on the Campaign Trail
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Wilson From 'Tool Time' Found Dead in Backyard
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Christian Heavy Metal Band, P.O.D., Denies it was in 'The Matrix Reloaded'
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More Predictions from Jean Dicksin for 2004
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Lassie Rescues Osama Bin Laden
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Klu Klux Klan Targets Bongo News in the South
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Separated at Birth: Moammar Ghadafi and Keith Richards
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Recipes of the World - Guangzhou, China: Giant Rat Soup (Good Cure for SARS)
Join our world tour of culinary delights... Full story

Mrs. Joe Lieberman Asks the Wizard of Love
You can ask the Wizard anything... Full story

The Adventures of Abdul and Hasim. Chapter 5: What to Do With the Cash?
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Kobe
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Britney Spears Marries Guy from 'Seinfeld'


britney alexander

LAS VEGAS — Pop tart, Britney Spears, got married on the weekend in Vegas. Initial news reports identified the groom as Jason Alexander, a childhood friend of Spears. But it later transpired that she had married the much older and much uglier Jason Alexander from Seinfeld.

Spears wore jeans and a baseball cap as she walked down the aisle, and was given away by a hotel bellman.

"I think it was all the free chicken she could eat that did the trick," Alexander quipped, referring to his job as spokesperson for Kentucky Fried Chicken. "She's just a country girl at heart when you get down to it."

The new Mrs. Alexander gushed that she had been a fan of her new husband ever since she was a child and watched all of his episodes on the Seinfeld show.

"I guess you could say that's when I fell in love with him. That episode where he comes out of the cold ocean and he's embarrassed because that girl sees his shrunken whatchamacallit!!! I thought I would die laughing! And I can't wait until we try having sex while eating smoked meats!"

"We're not going to live with his parents though, they're just too weird for me," said the former Miss Spears.

Mike Pasternack
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