Courtney Love Strikes "Private Deal" with Judge ... Full story
Saddam Backs Off His Assertion that He Had Weapons of Mass Destruction, Agrees to Bipartisan Inquiry ... Full story
CBS Presents "As the Candidates Turn" ... Full story
Moseley Braun Mistakenly Endorsed Dean Instead of Kerry; "All White Men Look Alike" ... Full story
Howard Dean Breaks Up With His Campaign Manager, Joe Trippi ... Full story
Bush Can't Spell the State He Was Born In ... Full story
Banner Ads We'd Like To See - Kervorkian ... Full story
Capitol Records to Release Dead Sinatra Album ... Full story
"Mrs. Howard Dean" Asks the Wizard of Love You can ask the Wizard anything... Full story
The Adventures of Abdul and Hasim. Chapter 9: The Bus to Washington ... Full story
How to Get Fired Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story
Glenn Campbell, Winona Judd, Michael Jackson and James Brown to Receive Busted Drunk Ugly-Ass Has-Been Awards at the Grammy's
MEMPHIS Four of America's most arresting singers have been selected
for special recognition during Sunday's Grammy Awards in Memphis.
Glenn Campbell, Winona Judd, Michael Jackson and the Godfather of
Bitch-Slap, James Brown, will all receive the prestigious Busted Drunk
Ugly-Ass Has-Been Singer Award, honoring their performances as
out-of-control, handcuffed has-beens who vaulted to center stage during
violent, drunken benders in the past year.
A Grammy spokesperson said that the Recording Academy is proud of its rich
heritage of alcohol and substance-abusing members.
"A lot of people felt that, after the '60's, we'd seen the last of singers
and musicians diving headfirst into the pool of self-abuse and stupidity.
When's the last time you read about somebody choking to death on their own
puke? That's a tough benchmark for anybody. But, music and performers are
always evolving, and we want to recognize this group of trend-setters for
their extraordinary work in total loss of self-respect."
The spokesperson said that each artist was selected for his ground-breaking
creativity in the field; Michael Jackson, for his selfless use of children
in his performances, Winona Judd, for daring to reveal how incredibly
butt-ugly she is while driving completely smashed, Glenn Campbell, for
going from superstar to gin-soaked has-been to bible-quoting recovering
wino to gin-soaked has-been recovering wino superstar that looks like he
beat up a frying pan with his face, and James Brown, who will receive a
Lifetime Achievement Award in recognition of nearly 50 years of domestic
Former Busted Drunk Ugly-Ass Has-Been Singer Award winners Chuck Berry and
Marilyn Manson will be the award presenters.