BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. APRIL 3, 2002 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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White Guy Wins Academy Awards for Best Makeup and Best Special Effects
... Full story

Academy Award for Best Crying
... Full story

Academy Award for Best Bad Boy
... Full story

Holly Woody at Academy Awards
... Full story

Hugh Grant Says Fame Has Robbed Him of the Thrill of Seducing Women
... Full story

Academy Award for Fattest Director
... Full story

Academy Award for Best Stealing of the Limelight
... Full story

Academy Award for Best Undress
... Full story

Liz Hurley Asks Pamela Anderson a Question
... Full story

Arab Leaders Spell Good
Arab leaders attend summit meeting in Beirut... Full story

Special Oscar Issue: Whitey Wins Some Minor Oscars

halle denzel
Halle and Denzel emote.
HOLLYWOOD — True to its liberal, politically-correct ethos, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences awarded several Oscars this year to whitefolk.

They won minor awards for technical achievement, accountancy, catering, and valet parking.

Best Actor Denzel Washington said it was good to see whitey getting some recognition. "They're good at math, but they're not cool."

Best Actor (in a female capacity) Halle Berry agreed. "My teeth look whiter."

White Southerner, Billy Bob Thornton, complained about discrimination. "I have the monster's ball."

Read these related stories:

Al Sharpton to Help Michael Jackson and Other Disadvantaged Pop Stars (10-Jul-02)

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