BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. OCTOBER 23, 2002 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Barbra's Column
Our nation's new Secretary of State writes her first column for us... Full story

North Koreans Admit to Nuclear Program
South Korean minister questions his North Korean counterpart... Full story

Barbra Streisand is Appointed Secretary of State

My name is Barbra and I am the new Secretary of Estate
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise move, George W. Bush has appointed Barbra Streisand as Secretary of State and Woody Harrelson as National Security Advisor. They replace Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice.

The unexpected cabinet shuffle came after Ms. Streisand and Mr. Harrelson emerged as the most vocal critics of the Bush Administration's plans to attack Iraq, and signal that the Administration may be re-thinking its entire foreign policy.

Ms. Streisand, the singer, director, actress and activist, has established herself as something of a foreign policy expert. She has gained increasing influence over the years and her views have begun to hold sway over Congressional leaders from both sides of the aisle.

Using her official website, Ms. Streisand has been posting "Truth Alerts" to spread her views, and one of these caught the President's eye. In that alert, she complained that her enemies had misrepresented her views on her opposition to "the Iranian (sic) dictator, Saddam Hussein."

While the Vice President, Bono, and the President's domestic political advisor, Karl Rove, tried to point out to the President Ms. Streisand's obvious error and the danger to his political base from bringing her into the cabinet, Mr. Bush apparently saw in Ms. Streisand a malapropistic soul mate.

The appointment of Mr. Harrelson, the actor, was a complete surprise since, in an op-ed piece in the London Guardian newspaper, he had accused the President's father of supplying nerve gas to Saddam.

"George W. is very loyal to his father and protective of his legacy," said Bono. "But he's also a big Cheers's fan. And Woody has a great intellect and is very stimulating to be around."

Read these related stories:

Bono is Sworn in as Vice President of the United States (20-Mar-02)

Paul O'Neill Tours Africa with Bono (5-Jun-02)

Russian Foreign Minister Ivanov Gives Colin Powell the Finger (7-Dec-01)

Colin Powell Shares A Light Moment With The Indian And Chinese Foreign Ministers (7-Aug-02)

Bush Stumbles Through Asian Trip With Gaffes Galore (27-Feb-02)

Rumsfeld Trades Barbs with Germany's Foreign Minister (12-Feb-03)

Strom Thurmond Music CD to be Released Posthumously (9-Jul-03)

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