BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. FEBRUARY 14, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Hillary: "I Will Fix Health Care Real Good This Time'
... Full story

Bush Diary - Victory In I-Rock Is A-Surge
... Full story

Bush to Sell 10 States to China to Balance the Budget
... Full story

Medics Tried to Revive Anna Nicole with a Chest Massage
... Full story

Howard K. Stern Found to be Daughter of Howard K. Smith and Howard Stern
... Full story

New Harvard President, a Woman, is No Good at Math and Science
... Full story

Paris Hilton is Famous for Being Famous, and Now For Having Herpes
... Full story

Al Gore Calls New York Snowstorm a Cruel Hoax
... Full story

Unknown NBA Player is the First Without Felony Conviction or Rape Charge
... Full story

Romanian Humor: Look Ma, No Hands
By Mihai Matei... Full story

The Mind Rovers: Hilary Swank
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Hugo Ballz: Cuckold
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

Obama: 'Lack of Experience My Greatest Asset,' and Other Whoppers

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just 45 years old and two years into his first term in the U.S. Senate, Barack Obama brings to the 2008 Presidential campaign the prospect of a new generation and style of leadership, with less experience in Washington and far fewer ties to the political polarization of the past two decades there.

"My lack of experience is my greatest asset," said Obama. "So is my ability to tell that whopper with a straight face!"

Not to be outdone, and already feeling off balance by the freshness of Obama, the other Presidential contenders quickly countered his claim.

"My lack of any moral compass is my greatest asset," said Hillary Clinton. "That enables me to take any position that is expedient."

"My bloopers and plagiarized speech is my greatest asset," said Joe Biden. "Words are important, but not to me."

"My having been a prisoner of war in Vietnam is my greatest asset," said John McCain. "It certainly wasn't my suggestion to increase the number of troops in Iraq!"

"My having been divorced twice and thrice married is my greatest asset," said Rudi Giuliani. "I know what women want, even if I can't give it to them."

"My being a Mormon is my greatest asset," said Mitt Romney. "Just ask my wives."

Emma Dubin

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