BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JANUARY 15, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Are Cloned Babies Edible?
... Full story

Hillary's Giant Gaffe
"I watched the game - we wuz robbed!"... Full story

New Zealanders Invent Radical Boat Design
The Kiwis call it "The Hula," which is short for... Full story

Newcomer Will Star in "The Winona Ryder Story"
... Full story

Pope Does Research Into Pervy Priests' Sexual Practices
... Full story

Prince Charles Makes a Discovery About Farming
... Full story

Clarence Thomas Memoirs: How I Became White

clarence thomas
Justice Thomas opposes affirmative action
WASHINGTON, DC — Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas, has done a book deal with HarperCollins for $1.5 million. His memoir will trace his rise from poverty to the Supreme Court, and how he was born black but became white. It will include his account of the brutal Senate confirmation battle over his nomination to the Supreme Court and Anita Hill's allegations of sexual harassment.

Hill testified during the Senate hearings that Thomas had an unorthodox approach to wooing, allegedly wanting to describe to her his favorite porno flick, Long Dong Silver, and allegedly asking her whether one of her pubic hairs was on his can of coke. Well, at least that was a more original pick-up line than "Would you be my love buffet?" or "Wanna have comfort sex with me?"

The working title of the book is said to be "From Pin Point to Points After." Publishing industry sources speculate that the title refers to Thomas's birth place in Pin Point, Georgia, not far from where the white trash was born in Hope, Arkansas. However, "pin point" may be a reference to his shortcomings as a stud, since Thomas allegedly told Hill how impressed he was with Long Dong's dong, and "points after" may be a reference to Thomas's eagerly-anticipated review in his memoirs of the Long Dong Silver video.

Read these related stories:

Tipper Gore May Run for the Senate (27-Mar-02)

Al Gore Exposed By Wife, Tipper, at a Book Fair in New York (15-May-02)

Celebrity Boxing Scores Big (20-Mar-02)

Clinton Seeks Fresh Supply Of Young Interns (18-Sep-02)

Study Reveals That Bicycle Seats Cause Limp Dicks (16-Oct-02)

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