BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. MARCH 26, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Bush Accidentally Starts the War on Iraq Early
He gets his phone calls mixed up... Full story

Bush is Concerned About the Turds in Northern Iraq
... Full story

Bush is Ashamed of the Dixie Chicks
Bush raps the rock group... Full story

Saddam's Guard Rues the Day He Got His Job at the Palace
Unhappy guard has a look of doom... Full story

The Fighting Wedgies Get Ready For Battle
Thing the theme thong... Full story

Monica Lewinsky is to Host a New Dating Show

fat monica
Fat Monica
NEW YORK — Not only has Bill Clinton been given his own spot on 60 Minutes, but Monica Lewinsky will host a new dating show on TV.

Monica's prime time show, Mr. Personality, will feature men competing for a woman contestant solely via their personality and not by money or power.

"It's a whole new direction for me," said Monica.

Can the stain of Bill's spot on 60 Minutes be removed?

Meanwhile, hostesses are vying with each other to have fat Monica Lewinsky attend their parties. "She adds a touch of class and sophistication to any event," said one hostess, "especially now that she's gained 80 pounds."

"She's so sexy," said another. "No one wears clothes the way she can. They do need drycleaning, however."

"And she's so intelligent," said a third hostess. "Uneducated, but intelligent nevertheless, at least more intelligent than I are."

"She's been at the seat of power," said another, "at waist height."

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"Big Fat Greek" Movie is a Surprise Hit (18-Sep-02)

Obese Teenage Girls Sue McDonald's (27-Nov-02)

Founder of Wendy's Eats One Double Cheeseburger Too Many (16-Jan-02)

Argentines are Revolting! (26-Dec-01)

Clinton Seeks Fresh Supply Of Young Interns (18-Sep-02)

Anna Nicole Smith Reality TV Show Is A Big Bust (7-Aug-02)

Lucky Thanksgiving Turkey Receives a Presidential Pardon (28-Nov-01)

Celebrity Boxing Scores Big (20-Mar-02)

Clinton's Dog Dies in Car Accident (9-Jan-02)

Does Anybody Want to Listen to Clinton/Dole "Point-Counterpoint" on '60 Minutes'? (12-Mar-03)

I Finally Get to Meet Bono and Bill Clinton (26-Feb-03)

Bloomberg Quizzes Trump About Rebuilding the World Trade Center (21-Nov-01)

Lakers Owner Collapses At A Charity Event (27-Nov-02)

Should Gary Condit Run? (7-Dec-01)

Rosie O'Donnell Dumps "Rosie" Magazine (25-Sep-02)

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