BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. APRIL 2, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Fed Up With the United Nations, US Will Turn UN Headquarters into Condos
Now there'll be some parking spaces... Full story

Baghdad Press Association Holds a Roast in Honor of Peter Arnett
... Full story

Rumsfeld is Criticized For Not Ending the War in One Week
You can't criticize my plan if there is none... Full story

PETA Protests Treatment of Chickens in War in Iraq
Forget humans, save the chickens... Full story

Rugby Fans Brave SARS
... Full story

Al Jazeerah Hires Geraldo Rivera

geraldo rivera
Herr al-Doh
BAGHDAD — After the US military insisted that Fox News remove former talk show host, Geraldo Rivera, from the battlefield for giving away US troop locations and movements, Geraldo has landed a job with the Al Jazeerah news agency.

"Talk about an overreaction by the Pentagon," said Geraldo. "All I did was draw a map in the sand and compromise the lives of the members of the 101st Airborne, the brave 'Screaming Eagles' made famous by Steven Spielberg in Band of Brothers. Now if I'd been a reporter in Normandy, I could have helped the Germans and made the invasion a more balanced affair. That would have been even better television."

"Most war correspondents haven't been talk show hosts," said Geraldo, "and most Generals haven't been, either. They don't know how to get a proper debate going. Both sides need ammunition, and you have to know where your opponent is standing."

Read these related stories:

Baghdad Press Association Holds a Roast in Honor of Peter Arnett (2-Apr-03)

Al Jazeerah Hires Geraldo Rivera (2-Apr-03)

Al Qaeda? Al Gore! (21-Nov-01)

Al-Jazeerah Launches a New TV Show, "Band of Afghan Brothers" (31-Oct-01)

Geraldo Refuses to Believe that the Afghan War is Over (26-Dec-01)

Geraldo Rivera in Hot Pursuit of Bin Laden (19-Dec-01)

Dan Rather is Interviewed About His Interview With Saddam Hussein (5-Mar-03)

Our War Correspondent Goes Into Enemy Territory: France (19-Mar-03)

Talk About Bad Timing (21-Nov-01)

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