BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JANUARY 9, 2002 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Larry Summers Gets a Harvard Education
The new President of Harvard, Lawrence Summers, has been forced... Full story

Clinton's Dog Dies in Car Accident
Former President Bill Clinton's dog, Buddy... Full story

Geraldo Rivera to Become a WASP
Changes his name to Harold Rivers... will lose the mustache too....

Indians Try to Camouflage the Taj Mahal to Prevent Pakistani Jets From Bombing It
... Full story

Lord of the Rings Screws Up
"Lord of the Rings" star loses his ring... Full story

Regis is Even Prepared to Take Back Kathie Lee

regis kelly
Regis and Kelly do silly stuff for Christmas.
NEW YORK — Wrinkled but lovable talk show host Regis Philbin is so desperate to get rid of his shrill-voiced, new co-host, Kelly Ripa, that he is prepared to take back his old co-host, Kathie Lee Gifford.

"I can't stand THAT VOICE," said Regis. "It drives me CRAZY, even with my hearing aid turned off."

"I'd take back that aging, self-promoting harridan in a second," said Reege. "And I'd put up with all those boring stories about Frank, her sweat-shop clothing line, her singing, and her Carnival Cruise Line ads," he added. "Wait a minute. No I wouldn't. Just shoot me."

Read these related stories:

Katie Couric Gets a $60 Million Contract (26-Dec-01)

Society Column (19-Dec-01)

Stop the World! Bryant Gumbel Tells CBS He is Quitting "The Early Show" (10-Apr-02)

Regis Whispers Some Advice in Kelly's Ear (8-May-02)

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