BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. APRIL 7, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Streaker at NCAA Final - Exclusive Photo
We have it! The exclusive photo... Full story

Ad Featuring Half-Naked Pamela Anderson Deemed Sexist, and Sexiest
... Full story

Administration Announces that Terrorists Are Hiding US Jobs
... Full story

The Pope Orders Kerry to Obey His Instructions
... Full story

Hollywood Producers Deny That TV Shows Have Anti-Bush Messages
... Full story

Halliburton Wins No-Bid Contract to Reconstruct Bush Administration's Credibility
... Full story

H.J. Heinz Company Distances Itself From the Kerry Campaign
... Full story

New Book, Inside Circle Jerk, Alleges Pre-9/11 White House Was Obsessed with Ann Coulter
... Full story

Rap Group, WMD, Goes Missing
... Full story

Al Franken Induces Multi-City Coma With Liberal Radio Show
... Full story

The Wizard of Love's Celebrity Pop Quiz
You can ask the Wizard anything... Full story

Mystery: Condi Rice
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See: Obscene Phone Call
With apologies to Doonesbury... Full story

Everybody Loves Raymond
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Cameron Diaz Burps Hugh Jackman at Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards; OutKast Performance Called Racist

LOS ANGELES — The green slime oozed and children screamed in delight at Saturday's Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz hosted the show.

Hugh Jackman, the Broadway star of The Boy from Oz whom kids like for his role as Wolverine in the X-Men movies, won the show's burping contest, which Diaz won in 2001. "Finally something my family can be proud of," said Jackman.

Hip-hop group, OutKast, won the prize for the "Most Racist Band." Having been heavily criticized at the Grammy's for wearing costumes with design elements of native American artifacts, such as feathers, OutKast wore new costumes, which a kid with coke-bottle eyeglasses decried as "clearly being offensive to 19th Century Japanese warriors."

The group's singer, Andre 3000, told the crowd of screaming kids, "Thanks so much. It's hard to think of new groups to offend, and we're so grateful you were offended. Now remember to learn how to read, and count, and all that type of stuff. I can't, but I'm worth $50 million anyway! But I'm black and you're not! And stay away from drugs, except when they're free."

Big Boi added, "And don't forget to tell your parents to get out and vote for Nader."

Adam Sandler won the award for "Biggest Doofus."

Julio Cesar

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