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Buick is Pissed That Tiger Crashed a Cadillac



Auto companies back away from Tiger

DETROIT, 2009-12-11 — Buick executives are upset that Tiger Woods crashed a Cadillac SUV and not a Buick.

"Cadillac got all that publicity when it could have been us," said a senior official from the Buick Division of GM. "He's won the Buick Invitational countless times and collected all those Buicks, so how come he wasn't driving one the night of his crash?

"It should have been a Buick that bounced off the hydrant and hit the tree. We could have shown how sturdy the car is and what a mess it made of the hydrant. And with those rapid changes of direction that Tiger made as he hit the bushes on the median strip outside his home, turned at 90 degrees and hit the hedge of a neighbor's house, turned 270 degrees and hit the hydrant and then a tree, we could have shown how maneuverable our vehicle is, even when you're driving with a chipped tooth and under the influence of Ambien and Vicodin."

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