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Obama Urges Students to Share Their Grades With Other Students

ANN ARBOR, Michigan, 2010-05-02 — In a commencement speech to students at the University of Michigan, President Obama urged students to share their grade point averages with other students.

"If you racked up a 3.9 GPA, you should share some of those points with less able students, and students that did not study as hard," said Obama. "We have to take care of the less able."

"Nobody really needs to earn a GPA above 3.5," he added. "If each student with a 3.9 gave up 0.4 points to another student, especially those with a D or an F, it would even things out and make things fairer."

Obama was immediately criticized by the left.

"Saying students need 3.5 is wrong," said Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Barney Frank in a joint statement. "Nobody should be allowed to score more than 3.0. In fact, the whole grading system is elitist. It would be much fairer if all students received the same grade."

"But I worked twice as hard as my roommate," said one magna cum laude student. "Why should I give up points to that bum?"

"Because people who work longer hours or who work two jobs pay a higher rate of tax than people who work regular hours or only one job," said Frank. "That's the progressive tax system, and there's lots of votes in that. And there will be a lot of votes in sharing grades too!"

Emma Dubin

Read these related stories:

Hugo Ballz: A Message From the University Administration (1-Mar-06)

New Harvard President, a Woman, is No Good at Math and Science (14-Feb-07)

Harvard to Stop Awarding Degrees to Advantaged Students (4-Oct-06)

Harvard to Create a New Economics Course Opposed to Bush Policies (12-Mar-03)

Michael Jackson to Enroll at Bring Em Young University (16-Mar-05)



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